Scarred For Life
by heather8
Summary: starts out with ally in law school...this DOES include larry, eventually, but i'll warn you all, this is a VERY dramatic, emotional roller coaster type story. if you're crying, it's sposed to be that way, if you're mad, it's sposed to be that way. i figur


TITLE: scarred for life  
  
BY: heather  
  
DISCLAIMER: except for Douglas, Detective Anderson, and Chief Nielson, all characters belong to DEK and the fox production company.  
  
SPOILERS: none, this is a complete work of my own imagination. I just stuck someone else's characters in it :) *note*....becca was helping me brainstorm and she helped give me the idea, so I wanna give her some credit for helping me to come up with this story. without her helping me in a writer's block, this might not have come about, and I, for one, am rather proud of it.   
  
SUMMARY: starts out with ally in law school...I'll give a brief summary as each part is put up. it's probably going to be really long, so bear with me. there are a lot of suspensful parts, and I'd like to make you all wait a lil' bit before getting more. I can promise tho that I'll post at least two or three parts a day, maybe more depending on feedback and interest *hint hint* :)  
  
RATING: this contains some strong adult-related things, but I'm sure everyone that gets their hands on it will be able to handle it. warning from the beginning tho, this is an extreme emotional roller coaster, if you cry, it was meant to be that way, if you're mad, it   
was meant to be that way, if you were swept away, once again, meant to be that way. If you don't wanna cry, don't read, but it's worth it for those of you in question, i promise.   
  
OTHER NOTES: I promise...Larry shows up.   
  
AND WITHOUT FURTHER OR DO......  
  
  
It was a bright Monday morning as Ally made her way through the quad at Harvard. She had a class to get to and she wasn't too ecstatic about it. To set the stage, Ally hadn't really wanted to be at Harvard, but she followed her childhood sweetheart, Billy, there to be with him. Well he left her for another college, and there she was, her last year there, alone, and feeling horrible. There really wasn't anyone there for her. She spent a lot of time studying, but she never felt confident enough about her skills as a lawyer, so she had no idea what she would do when she graduated.   
She was looking at the floor as she walked around a corner and bumped, really hard, into somebody. She looked up and saw the person. It was a tall guy, about 6'1", he had dark brown hair, long to his ears,   
medium-colored brown eyes with a hint of yellow, and a killer smile.   
"Excuse me," the handsome guy said as he smiled at Ally who was fidgeting with the books she was gripping to her chest.   
"Oh, uh, uh, it's, a, it's," Ally stopped, laughing at her own stuttering. "It's alright," she smiled.   
He held out his hand, "I'm Douglas Kaysen," he responded with another killer smile.   
Ally felt weak in her knees, something she hadn't felt since, well, she knew when, "Ally, I mean, I'm Ally, McBeal," she sighed, laughing nervously as she took his hand in hers.   
"Well it's nice to meet you Ally McBeal," he brought her hand up to his mouth and kissed it gently.   
Ally felt weak all over again. How was it meeting someone could do this to her, she didn't know, but the thought of finally having someone to talk to made her jump for joy on the inside.   
"Well um, I suppose you were going somewhere," Douglas said looking her in the eyes.  
"Well, yes, I was going to, class," Ally looked at him, the inside of her screaming, don't let him go!!! Get his number!!!   
Douglas reached into his bag pulling out an index card from the smaller pocket and a pen. "Here's my number," he said as he wrote his name and number on the card. "Call me when you get out of class and we can go for some lunch if you like," he smiled that smile again.   
Ally's smile got wider as she took the index card. "Okay, I will. You'll be home, won't you?" Ally questioned.  
"Sure, just give me a buzz, I'll be around!" he responded cheerfully. "Once again, nice meeting you Miss McBeal," and he was gone.   
Ally turned around staring towards him just smiling, a genuine, true, smile.   
  
***  
  
Ally was in her dorm room staring at the card, daydreaming. "Douglas Kaysen," she said aloud. She giggled at herself and sighed. Pick up the phone! a little voice told her. Call him!!! it persisted. Ally grabbed the phone, and then slowly dialed the number.   
It picked up after one ring, "Hello," an all too familiar voice called.  
"Uh, hi, Douglas? Um, it's Ally, Ally McBeal, remember me?" she immediately smacked her head with her hand at that stupid comment.  
"Oh, Ally! Hi! How are you? I was hoping you would call. Amidst the rush, I forgot to get YOUR number," Ally smiled. He wanted my number!!! She squealed in her head with delight.  
"I'm doing alright. So, did you wanna get some lunch?" Ally asked, nervously playing with the phone cord.  
"Sure, actually, I was hoping we could," Douglas answered with enthusiasm.   
"Great, um," Ally stopped, not knowing where to suggest.  
Good thing, because Douglas walked right in. "Well there's this little café around the corner from the university. Do you wanna meet there in, let's say half an hour?"   
Ally sighed, relieved. "Sure, sounds great."  
"Okay then. I'll see you there!" Douglas hung up the phone.   
Ally had this wistful look on her face as she got up and started dancing around the room. She felt that this could really be something special; the first 'something special' since her Billy. Maybe this has potential, she thought hopefully as she grabbed her purse and went out the door.   
  
***  
  
Well Ally and Douglas ran into each other again and again after that blissful meeting in front of the university and at the café. Ally was swept off her feet by the most romantic man she had ever met. Over the next couple of months, he bought her flowers just because, left notes by her door to say he was thinking of her, took her to romantic dinners, and the lovemaking…did we mention the lovemaking? It was like a whole new world Ally had never been to before. He brought such pleasure and yet was so gentle and tender. Ally never knew sex could be so meaningful. The happiest moments of Ally's life were spent with Douglas.   
One night, they were at Douglas's house lying together under the covers, Ally was draped on top of Douglas to the side and they were watching TV. Douglas's voice broke the steady hum of the television set. "Ally," he began, looking at her lovingly.   
"Hmm?" she asked.  
"I love you Ally," he finished.  
Ally looked up at him as her eyes started to get misty. "Oh Douglas, I love you too," she sighed and he leaned down to kiss her and she melted in his arms all over again.  
  
***  
  
It was graduation day and Ally was ecstatic. Her and Douglas had talked about moving in together in Boston. He had gotten offered a job at some law office called Nelson and Lamal. Ally on the other hand had been offered a job from Richard Fish to work at his new firm Fish & Cage. She knew Richard from a few classes she had with him. He always asked her to borrow her notes from like weeks at a time because he never came to class. He must have felt he owed her was her reasoning on her job because she still wasn't confident enough about her being a lawyer.   
"I can't believe I did this!" she squealed as she wrapped her arms around Douglas who reciprocated her feelings. The ceremony had ended and everyone was giving and receiving congratulations. "And to think!" she continued, "I didn't even wanna do this to begin with!"   
Douglas heard that and stopped to look at her. "What?" he asked incredulously. "You didn't wanna do this? Become a lawyer you mean?" He looked at her long and hard.   
"Well," Ally stopped and became very fidgety and nervous. "I came here with my childhood sweetheart Billy Thomas and when he left me, I knew it wasn't what I really wanted, but I had so little left, I stuck it out. Here I am though, a graduate from Harvard University. I'm pretty proud of myself," she paused, hoping he wasn't too angry with her. The thing about Douglas was that he hated seeing people "follow crowds" as he put it. "Become sheep" being another expression from it, was what he thought of her at that moment. "And I mean NOW I wanna be a lawyer, more than anything!" she added, trying to gain back his confidence in her.   
"So you," he gulped angrily. "You followed someone," he emphasized the word followed.   
"Douglas, honey, I'm sorry," she murmured.   
"Don't honey me," he shoved her arms away.  
"I'll," he stopped trying to regain composure.  
"I'll see you later," he stopped. "Maybe," he added in a rough voice.   
Ally had tears in her eyes as he stormed off leaving her standing there dazed and confused. He didn't get angry often, but when he did, it was bad. Bad in the sense that you wanted to be in another country kind of bad. She walked away as she softly started to cry.   
  
***  
  
Two days later, Ally was sitting in her dorm room amongst all of her belongings and the boxes they were in. She was ready to move out, and had no idea what to do. She was supposed to move into a place her and Douglas had picked out, but she hadn't heard from him since the incident at graduation. She was wondering what was going to happen and why something so perfect seemed to go so wrong after one disagreement.  
Suddenly, interrupting her thoughts, there was a knock on the door. Ally jumped and let out a startled cry. When she realized it was the door, she got up and opened it a crack, slowly.   
"Hi," Douglas said softly.   
"Hi," Ally replied timidly.   
"Can I come in?" he asked after a moment of staring at her. Ally nodded and opened the door slowly. "Well, I see you've got all your packing done," he acknowledged, making conversation.   
"Yeah, I du-," she cut herself short. She didn't want to finish that sentence afraid of making him mad again. She really felt helpless without him.  
"Where were you gonna go?" Douglas asked casually.  
Ally looked at him, kind of mad herself. "Well I don't know Douglas," emphasizing his name. "WE were supposed to move in together, but now I guess I'm not so sure," she finished staring at him with crazy eyes.   
"Well that's what I came to talk to you about," he started. Ally gulped and he continued. "I'm still game if you are," he looked at her; his expression had softened.   
Ally let out a surprised cry as he took her hand and looked her in the eyes. "I'm sorry Ally, I just didn't know how to react when I thought the one person in the world who strays herself away from being a sheep," that expression again Ally thought, "I went a little crazy. Will you forgive me?" He looked at her pleadingly.   
Her expression softened. That look, she thought, it always weakens me. Ally sighed and nodded her head yes.   
Her eyes closed as he came in to kiss her gently.   
  
***  
  
It had been three more months and their relationship hadn't changed too terribly much, with the exception of the spontaneity. Ally and Douglas both kept plenty busy with their newly acquired jobs and spent the nights in front of the TV just lying there in each other's arms, sometimes they would make love, but it wasn't the same. Ally felt it was that remark she had made at their graduation that had caused the distance.   
Ally had made some friends from work and from going to court. One day in court she met a woman named Renee Raddick and the two hit it off. Renee was opposing counsel and was VERY good. Ally had lost, and as Renee had come over to say "good case" the two hit it off. Ally would occasionally call Renee and talk to her about how things were going, but they never did anything. Ally was too afraid to do anything without Douglas and she was even more afraid of asking Douglas to go do something. She just went with the flow and accepted it as normal. At least she had somebody, right?   
Well, one morning, Ally was in the bathroom, sitting on the toilet. She had just taken a pregnancy test and was looking at the red plus sign, panicky. She was pregnant, and it was sinking it, slowly, but surely. She didn't know what Douglas would think. They weren't married, not even close, she felt, and yet she wanted the child. She wanted it more than anything in the world. The question was, would HE want it. She decided she would go to the hospital and get a check-up before telling him anything.   
That afternoon, Ally left work for an early lunch, went to Boston Memorial Hospital, and got a confirmation. She was, in fact, pregnant. Oh my god, she thought. What is Douglas going to think? All she could do was hope and pray that he wouldn't mind it and maybe, possibly, want it as much as she did. She had contemplated keeping it a secret and waiting to see if their relationship progressed any further, but she decided against it and decided she would tell him that night over dinner.   
  
***  
  
That night, Douglas came through the door to their apartment to a house full of romantic light. Candles were lit everywhere, Ally had dinner prepared on the dining room table with two candles lit in between the two settings and she was wearing a black gown, slightly sexy. Douglas was surprised by the sight of all this.  
"What's up Ally?" he asked astonished.   
"Well, I just thought it would be a nice change from the usual," Ally replied. "I wanted to show you just how much I love you," she continued.   
Douglas put his briefcase down by the door and walked up to Ally. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her gently on the lips. This made Ally melt. I've missed this, she thought languorously.   
"I also have something to tell you," she started as they pulled apart.   
Douglas looked at her. "What is it baby?"   
God, he looks like he really does love me, Ally thought. Maybe this won't be so bad, and she decided to just come out with it. "I took a test this morning before work and I went to the hospital during my lunch break and I, well the doctor said I was 4 weeks pregnant," Ally finished semi-worried.   
Douglas's face lit up. "You're pregnant??? Oh my god baby!!! That's so fabulous!!!" He swooped her up in his arms and twirled her around as she squealed in delight. He set her down and then bent down to her stomach. "Hi in there," he said softly. "I love you Ally," he whispered as he stood back up and held her close, looking upon her adoringly.   
"I love you too Douglas," the moment was complete for Ally McBeal.   
  
***  
  
Three months later, Ally and Douglas had looked for and bought a house in the suburbs of Boston. Douglas had proposed to Ally a week after she told him she was pregnant and they got married a month later. They took their honeymoon to the Keys down in Florida, which had been the most memorable of all the moments in Ally's life. And work, work was absolutely amazing for her. She was winning every case left and right. This of course made Richard a very happy puppy considering his main interest is money money money.   
They were lying in bed together, he was asleep and she was wide-awake and lying on top of his chest, thinking. Does life really get any better than this? she thought. I'm gonna have a baby, I'm married to the most fabulous man on Earth, work is just perfect, and we live in a beautiful neighborhood. Exactly what I wanted for my children, she smiled as she felt her eyes shut.   
As Ally drifted off to sleep, she had visions, bad visions. The first was she and Douglas fighting. This had her tossing and turning. The next was him throwing things around. This had her moaning. And then, she envisioned her being smacked into a wall by an unimaginable force.   
"Aaaaaaaaaaggggggggghhhhhhhhh," Ally screamed as she shot straight up.   
Douglas was immediately woken up by this. "What, what??" he questioned loudly.   
Tears were streaming down Ally's face as she leaned back into the bedpost shaking, scared. "I, I saw, I saw you," Ally couldn't finish.   
Douglas looked at her, "Well, I'm sure it was just a dream. Don't worry about it, just go back to sleep," he grumbled and then rolled over to go back to sleep.   
Ally stared at his back, trembling. She slumped back down and looked up at the ceiling. What was all of that about? she wondered.   
  
***  
  
Ally was in her office playing with her pen and thinking about her dream the previous night when there was a knock on the door interrupting her thoughts.   
"Ally?" it was her secretary, Elaine Vassel.   
"What do you want Elaine? I'm kind of busy here," Ally lied trying to make it seem like she was doing paperwork.   
"Renee's here," she said.   
"Oh!" Ally exclaimed, actually happy to hear that. "Send her in of course Elaine!" Ally stood up.   
Renee walked in and they hugged. "Hey girl, how you doin'? She patted Ally's stomach. "And how's this little one doing?" She giggled playfully.   
"Well Renee, not so well," Ally began. Renee stood straight up and got a serious look on her face. Ally continued, "Well last night, I had this horrible dream. Douglas and I were fighting and then he started throwing things and the next thing I knew I was smacked into a wall or something and then I woke up screaming. I couldn't even tell Douglas all of it, and he didn't seem too interested anyways. I'm not sure why he wouldn't care," Ally finished, puzzled. "What do you think?" she added looking at Renee.  
"Well honey, I don't know what to tell you. Maybe your man was just a lil' bit tired or something. That could be it," Renee offered.   
"I know I have a lot of weird dreams, but seriously, this dream really hit home," Ally stopped all of a sudden overcome with confusion. "It felt so real Renee, honestly."  
Renee looked at her friend. She didn't know what to tell her, but one thing's for sure, Ally had her issues, and this was probably one of the few that she actually decided to share. Renee hoped Ally was wrong, for her sake.  
  
***  
  
Ally looked at her watch as she stood inside the department store. It was a Saturday afternoon and Douglas was supposed to meet her in the baby section. They were going to look at cribs for their little bundle of joy. Douglas had been somewhat distant lately, coming home late, not being as loving as he used to be. This had Ally worried of course, but she tried hard as she could to just shrug it off and take it as nothing.   
Thirty minutes had passed from the time they had planned to meet so Ally decided to leave. She walked home and as soon as she got home started dinner. About another half an hour later, Douglas came through the door, in a rage. Ally heard the door shut and yelled, "Hi honey, I'm in the kitchen!" Ally put down the spatula for the spaghetti and walked into the living room to greet her husband. As she was walking into the room, she was talking "I waited half an hour for you, but you never showed up," Ally sighed, "I guess we'll just have to go back again some other time, yeah?" She finished that thought and got into the room to see Douglas, in a rage with crazy eyes and balled up fists. She looked at him uneasily. "Honey, is, something wrong? You look," she gulped, "angry."  
"Angry???" was his reply. "Angry??? Where were you Ally??? I waited for an hour and you didn't show up!!! I went out of my way, cancelled my plans for the day, JUST so we could look for that stupid crib, and you don't even show up!!! Angry," he continued, "doesn't BEGIN to describe how I feel!!!" he finished flashing her the nastiest look he could muster up.   
Ally backed up as he walked towards her. He was backing her into the kitchen towards the stove. Ally was pretty terrified by now, she was trembling and gripping her stomach, afraid it was going to fall off of her body for some strange reason. Douglas finally backed her into the stove where she had ran into the pot holding the noodles, which then fell down on the floor in a sizzling splash burning her feet and back. Douglas, in his fit of rage, snarled at her. "Look at what you did Ally!!! Clean it up!!!" he growled as he grabbed her by the neck and forced her to the floor. "Clean it up you slob!" He growled again.  
Ally was crying by now, half terrified for her life and half because her skin was in terrible pain due to the boiling water she was now knelt down in. She took her apron off and quickly started to gather up all the noodles that had fallen on the floor. Douglas grunted and left the room punching the walls along the way, surprisingly not putting any holes in them. Ally stopped and held her head in her hands. What had she done? If only she had waited another half an hour! She wouldn't have missed him and they would be picking out cribs for their baby right now. Instead, she pissed off a very strong man, and was hurting due to burns on her legs, not to mention her heart racing and stomach tied in knots, with the baby and all.  
  
***  
  
Later that night, Ally was in the bathroom nursing her scars on her legs wondering how she was going to explain them when she went to work. Pantyhose can only cover so much, she thought. There was a pounding on the door and Ally screamed. "Come to bed Ally!" a loud voice yelled. Ally scrambled to put everything up, the alcohol and peroxide and rushed out of the bathroom. Douglas was laying bed under the covers with all of his clothes off. "Come here now Ally," he ordered. "And lose those," he referred to her clothes.   
What proceeded was the most painful sexual experience of Ally's life. Douglas was rough and aggressive. Even with Ally four months pregnant, Douglas managed to get inside of her and get close enough to her face so that Ally could feel his breath on her face. He smelled of alcohol. Oh no… she thought…  
  
***  
  
The next three weeks went by much the same. Ally seemed to always do something that made Douglas mad. What proceeded every night was a rough sexual experience in which had Ally hating sex all together and Douglas telling her that their sex life was to remain behind closed doors. "If you tell anyone, I WILL kill you and your baby," he had said.   
Work was the only place she was truly safe at and even then, she had to explain the scars she had here and there. Douglas was getting more and more violent and there was nothing Ally could do about it. She thought it was her fault. He didn't used to be like this, it has to be something I'M doing, she thought feverishly. A man doesn't change like that without reason.   
Renee was getting very scared for her friend. Ally wouldn't tell her what was going on, but Renee knew it was something. Ally wore less-revealing clothing, which wasn't like her, and sometimes she walked with a limp, groaning in pain every now and then, of course claiming it was nothing but cramps from the baby.   
Ally had prayed that nobody would question anything. All she had needed and/or wanted was another confrontation worse than what she got every night.   
Renee couldn't help it, she was so scared for Ally she decided to do something about it…and confront the one person that could answer her questions… BIG MISTAKE  
  
***  
  
Ally took a deep breath and walked through the front door. She set down her briefcase and purse and made her way to the kitchen where she found Douglas, whom had Renee cornered against a wall. Oh my god!!!!! went through Ally's head over and over. "Renee, what are you doing here?" Ally asked frantically "You can't be here!!!"  
Ally's eyes kept darting from the angry Douglas to the frightened Renee. "Ally," Douglas immediately started. "What did I tell you? Didn't I tell you that what happened with us STAYED between US…and not the whole fucking world??" he quizzed her indicating Renee.   
Ally nodded her head quickly, "I never told Renee anything Douglas, I promise!!! I have kept my mouth shut completely!!!" Ally was scared now; she was clutching her stomach with all her might. "She asked, but I never told her anything, I SWEAR!!!" Ally shook her head rapidly.   
Douglas had let go of Renee and had been slowly heading towards Ally who was now being backed up the stairs. Here we go again, Ally thought. For some reason however, she felt it was going to be worse this time, and she didn't know how or why, but she felt it coming. Douglas was picking things up and throwing them at Ally as she was making her way up the stairs backwards hastily and ducking as much as she could. Renee had been following behind Douglas slowly from a distance looking on in horror as to what Ally had been going through for the past month or so, she guessed.   
Ally had gotten to the top of the stairs and backed up against the wall. Douglas was close enough he was breathing on her neck and staring Ally in the eye, his full of rage, hers of terror. In one quick move, he backed up and smacked Ally on the face with all of his might and she hit the floor, hard. Renee gasped in fear. Ally's hand immediately went to her face, which was bleeding from the cut the ring on Douglas's finger has caused. She scrambled towards the stairs and Douglas started kicking her in the stomach, where the baby was. Renee was crying now, she couldn't move, she was frozen. All of sudden Douglas had kicked Ally down the stairs and she blacked out. Renee ran out the door, screaming.   
  
***  
  
Ally woke up in the hospital a day later, attached to an IV with Renee right next to her holding her hand. "Ally honey! You're up!" she squeezed her hand and ran towards the door hollering for a nurse or doctor of some sorts.   
Ally was trying to focus her eyes when she felt a rush of pain come to her face and she tried moving her hands, which were rested on her stomach, to her face but she noticed the lump was gone. "Renee!!! Renee!!!" she started screaming frantically. "My baby!!! Where's my baby??" she was screaming and crying at the same time, traumatized.   
Renee rushed back to her side and knelt up on her bed holding the flailing Ally. "Honey, the fall made you lose your baby. We almost lost you," Renee continued after a pause.   
"Nooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!" Ally screamed as she broke down into Renee's arms.   
  
***  
  
"Ally Kaysen's room please," Detective Anderson asked the receptionist.   
"Room 212, down the hall to your left," the receptionist responded.   
"Thank you," and Detective Anderson made his way down the hall to Ally's room. He knocked on the door and slowly opened it when he saw Ally and Renee curled up together, sleeping, he bowed out, deciding to stay until she was awake and talk to a doctor about Ally's condition.   
He flagged down a nurse in the hall and asked if she could get him in touch with Ally Kaysen's doctor. She agreed and brought him to Doctor Steffen's office.   
Anderson knocked on the door, "Doctor Steffen? I wonder if I might have a word with you concerning a patient of yours."  
Doctor Steffen stood up and offered his hand, they shook, and then a chair, "By all means, please, sit."   
"I would like to know what your diagnosis is on Ally Kaysen. Her friend, Renee Raddick made the complaint that she had seen Mrs. Kaysen's husband beat the 'living hell outta her.' Physically, where does that leave her?" he finished, thinking of that poor girl wrapped up in her friend's arms as he shook his head and the diverted his full attention to the doctor.   
"Well, I'd like to say that she'll be just fine, but unfortunately, she's taken quite a beating," the doctor removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes placing the glasses on his desk in dismay. "She's suffered quite a beating to her stomach, causing her to lose the baby she was almost 5 months pregnant with and," he paused, hating what was coming. "Due to the severe injuries in her lower abdomen area due to rough sexual practices by her husband, Mrs. Kaysen may," he took a deep breath, "not ever be able to have a child." He hated bringing that news to a woman. He felt it was the one thing in the world that should NOT be taken away from them, but it happened and he frowned upon it.   
Detective Anderson sighed and looked at the floor. It was a sad day in his career when he had to deal with an abusive relationship. He thought it was horrible how men could hit women. He saw NO right in it. "Do you know when she'll be released?" He asked.  
Doctor Steffen took another deep breath. "Well, unfortunately, she could be in here for another week," he replied sadly. "Then again, maybe it's best for her, she's suffered one helluva beating, I'll tell you that much. I've seen some bad things in my time, but this is pretty close to being one of the worse cases I've EVER seen. There are burn scars on her arms and legs, bruises all along her inner thighs and of course she's had quite a bit of internal bleeding from when her husband was kicking her in the stomach."  
"Well, we need a statement from Mrs. Kaysen before we bring in Mr. Kaysen for questioning," Anderson said sadly. He wanted to haul the bastard in that minute and put him away for life without any chance of parole. He deserved a cold dead cell in the middle of fucking nowhere, he thought.   
All of a sudden the gentlemen heard a shrill scream from down the hall and ran towards Ally's room. When they got there, they saw Ally with the most horrified look on her face any of them had ever seen and Renee trying to comfort her unsuccessfully.   
"It was just a dream honey, it's all over, it's over Ally," Renee tried to comfort her.   
Doctor Steffen stepped towards Ally and checked all her vital signs and stuff like that while Detective Anderson approached much slower. "Mrs. Kaysen," Ally started crying at the sound of that and Detective Anderson rephrased it. "Ally, if I may, it seems you've suffered an awful lot in this past month or so and it's been due to your husband, am I right?" He looked at her troubled facial expression and crying eyes. "Just nod yes or no for me," he softened his voice tremendously. She nodded her head and he continued. "Okay, now we can't arrest him unless you give us a statement saying that he was abusing you."   
Ally was clutching her stomach as she started speaking, "He did it. He said he'd kill my baby if I told anyone. But I didn't tell anyone!!!! Why Renee??" she looked at Renee accusingly. "Why did you have to show up?? My baby's gone because of you!!!" she cried hysterically.   
Renee started crying. "Ally, honey, I was worried, I'm sorry," she trailed off and held Ally close to her as Ally continued her sobbing.   
Detective Anderson, seemingly satisfied by that statement accused himself and headed towards his car. He got into his car and made a call over the radio. "All units, we have an abusive husband to bring in for questioning, may need backup car, 119 Henderson St. in suburban Boston. Douglas Kaysen."  
  
***  
  
Ally and Renee were gathering Ally's belongings that Renee had brought to her, and gifts that everyone from work had given her, about a week later.   
"Well, you're coming to live with me. SO long as that man is on the loose, you're not going anywhere NEAR that house!" That Detective Anderson had been an awfully big help to Ally, talking to her, reassuring her that everything would work out all right so long as Ally pressed charges. The last thing Ally wanted to do was go to court. She wanted a divorce and to move on with her life, with Renee's help of course. She didn't know what she would have done without her. Renee really did save her life. Ally was, of course, in denial about not being able to have children, but got into her head that at least she was alive and THAT was what mattered. She still had her job of course, and had a place to live; she would make it. However, something still hung over her head. She still had a feeling that this wasn't all over. It was a nagging feeling…  
  
***  
  
Renee was representing her during the divorce meeting and Ally had asked Detective Anderson to join them in the meeting in case something were to happen. Ally, Renee, and Detective Anderson were already in the conference room at Renee's law office when Douglas entered. He looked like shit; his hair was all raggedy and he hadn't shaved in that past week. Ally gasped and grabbed onto Renee's arm. Renee grabbed her hand and squeezed it. Detective Anderson put a protective hand on Ally's shoulder. Ally and Douglas made eye contact and Ally felt resilient.   
She immediately whispered in Renee's ear, "I want a restraining order, I don't feel comfortable knowing that he can just come around whenever he feels like it." Maybe it was, she thought for a moment. It was DEFINITELY something in his eyes, she concluded silently.   
"It's okay Ally, don't worry," she took a breath after looking at Ally's pleading eyes. "Okay, we'll get one if you want it," Renee sighed, defeated.  
"Yes I do!!!" Ally whispered feverishly.   
The proceedings went on rather smoothly. They drew up and signed legal divorce papers, leaving Ally everything due to his abusive behavior, she even got her maiden name back, which she had wanted anyways, and she had talked to Detective Anderson about getting a restraining order. There was definitely something about the look in his eyes…she kept thinking.   
  
***  
  
Two weeks had passed and things seemed to be returning to a normalcy for Ally. Her and Renee got closer, they hung out, watched gushy chick flicks, talked about anything and everything, and when Ally would have a nightmare, which happened quite often, she would crawl into Renee's bed and Renee would comfort her till she fell asleep.   
One night, she was walking home from work like usual and all of a sudden, the hair on the back of her neck stood STRAIGHT up…like in the horror films where the villain is RIGHT behind you and you know it because all the tiny hairs on your body stand straight up. Well that's EXACTLY how Ally felt when it happened.   
She was walking down the street and boom, all the hairs stood up, she slowed down, and before Ally knew it, she was being attacked. She tried screaming but couldn't. She was about to be either kidnapped, or raped, or both; she sensed it. In light of all of her flailing, she kicked her attacker in the groin and took off limping down the street screaming "HELP ME!!!! SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!" with all of her might.   
She came up to this guy walking towards her with a worried look on his face. She ran into him screaming, "Help me!!!! Help me!!! I'm being attacked; I think it's my ex-husband!!! Help me!!!!!!!!" She was crying extremely hard and the guy held her staring in the direction in which she had come from. He saw nothing and decided to take her to the police.   
  
***  
  
Detective Anderson walked into his office and handed Ally a cup of coffee. She was sitting there shaking and wrapped in a blanket white as a sheet.   
"So you were attacked you say?" Anderson questioned her.  
"Yes, I was! And I SWEAR it was Douglas!!!" Ally shrieked.   
"Well, I guess we're going to have to go to court with this one Miss McBeal. It's a good thing that man who brought you in was there on that street when you needed him," he signaled a guy who was outside of his office getting questioned by another officer. There was a knock on the door. "Come in!" he yelled.   
"Can I speak with you for a moment?" Anderson got up and moved towards the door. "I'll be back in one moment."   
Ally nodded and averted her head to the guy outside Anderson's office. He had been left alone for a moment and they made eye contact. He turned to walk away and seconds later was in Anderson's office sitting on a bench opposite Ally.   
"Are you okay?" he asked sympathetically.   
"I suppose, this time anyway," she muttered. "Until he does it again, and again, and-" she stopped and broke down.   
He looked upon this and got misty. He took her in his arms and tried to sooth her. "It's okay, you'll be alright. He'll get locked up for sure, I promise," she looked up at him and he winked.   
"Well he didn't get locked up before!" Ally cried out.  
"Before, what happened before?" he asked anxiously.  
Ally tried to start, but couldn't bring herself to say the words, "He, he, he be-" she stopped and cried even harder. This stranger just held onto her tightly. How could anyone be so cruel to someone so harmless? he wondered, troubled.   
Anderson walked back into his office. "Oh I see you've been acquainted with your rescuer," Anderson said. "Who's name is," he paused looking to the stranger for help.   
Still holding Ally, he extended one hand, "Larry, Larry Paul."  
"Well it's a good thing you were there when you were Mr. Paul. Miss McBeal might have been diced, sliced, and god knows what else if you weren't," Anderson started.   
Ally gasped at the comment and Larry stepped in, "Hey now, be a little bit more sensitive man," he said protectively.  
"Hey, I'm sorry, it's just, fact of it is, this is a common case. Abusive husband, restraining order, something bad happens. I've seen it happen a dozen times, sadly."  
"Well, be more careful with your choice of words. I don't think a woman who has been attacked needs to hear words like 'diced' and 'sliced', you get my drift?" he asked sternly.   
Anderson looked at Mr. Paul. He liked to see a man so worried about a woman like this. "Ya know what Mr. Paul? You might be just what Miss McBeal needs. A companion," he looked at the two of them as they both raised their heads.   
"A companion, Detective? I don't think so!!! I can't trust guys, I can't trust anyone!!!" Ally started crying again.  
"I'm gonna ask you again to be more careful with your words, okay?" Larry held onto Ally even more protectively. Ally felt a certain, closeness, to this Larry Paul character; she couldn't put her finger on it though. She just buried her head in his chest and he just held her tight. It felt good to be protected for once in her life.   
Detective Anderson looked at Ally and Larry; he liked what he saw and he genuinely meant what he said. Ally needed someone good in her life for once. All of a sudden a woman came rushing through the door of Detective Anderson's office.   
"Oh Larry! What happened??" asked a tall young woman, brown hair, long legs, the typical gorgeous woman.   
Larry looked up and slowly let go of Ally as Ally looked up at the strange woman. "Jamie, um, this woman," he indicated Ally, "was attacked, we ran into each other as she was running off, and I brought her in."  
"Oh you poor thing!" Jamie got sentimental all of a sudden and then looked upon Larry adoringly. "If you weren't there honey…" she trailed off.   
Detective Anderson looked at Larry, Jamie, back to Larry again and then finally to Ally who looked, almost heartbroken by it. The one person who shows sympathy to me, has to be taken, what are the odds, she thought.   
"Jamie stop it," Larry said sternly.   
"Stop what Larry?" Jamie looked at him innocently.   
"Well for one, I'm not your 'honey' anymore," he paused. "And for two, what is this with acting all sugary sweet and innocent? We both know what you're about; you don't have to act around me or anyone else. And by the way, where's Sam?" Larry asked worriedly.   
Ally looked back and forth between the two of them, her expression becoming more hopeful, then she stopped herself. Wait a minute! What's your problem? she scolded herself. You just got out of one HELLUVA bad marriage, you don't need to do this, obsess over some guy you just met. But there WAS something about him, be in the warmth in his arms, or him defending her, all she knew was that she wanted to keep him in her life. The question was how.   
"I left him over at Helena's house, quit complaining. He's safe with your EX," she emphasized ex coolly.   
Larry rolled his eyes and focused his attention back to Ally. "Are you gonna be okay?" he asked, his tone MUCH softer.   
Ally let out a soft smile while Jamie rolled her eyes. "I'm gonna be okay, I think," she replied looking at him with soft eyes.   
Larry looked at her for a moment. There was something about this woman, he thought, what was it, well he didn't know; but he DID know that he didn't want to lose touch with her. Maybe it was her eyes, he thought as he gazed long into them.   
Detective Anderson interrupted all this mushy gushy stuff, "Well Miss McBeal, in order to press charges, you'll need to have your lawyer present."  
As Ally was about to say she'd call Renee, Larry interrupted. "I'm her lawyer."   
Ally's gaze immediately sidetracked back to him. "You're a lawyer?" she asked, puzzled. What are the odds? she thought.   
"Yes, I am," he replied warmly gazing upon her again. "And since I was there, I'd feel very comfortable covering this case," he paused. "So long as you don't mind," he questioned her.  
"Okay," Ally replied looking back to Detective Anderson and then to Larry again. "Here's my lawyer, can we get started on this? I want him put away for life!" she exclaimed.  
Jamie was standing by watching all of this, not happy with what was happening. She was losing the one man she loved to some fragile twig. I'm gonna have to find this ex-husband of hers, get him back into the picture and her out of my picture, permanently, Jamie vowed silently to herself as a smile arose to her face.   
  
***  
  
"I thought I was your lawyer Ally!" Renee complained.   
"I can't explain it Renee," Ally began. "There's just something about him. I feel the yearning to be around him all the time. I feel," she paused pensively. "I feel safe around him," she finished looking up at Renee.   
"Well do you really think that you're ready for a relationship Ally?" Renee asked, apprehensively.   
"I don't know Renee, but," she sighed dreamily. "I really like this man."  
  
***  
  
Ally was working away in her office when suddenly there was a tap on her door. It was Elaine once again. "Come in!" Ally shouted, not looking up from her work.   
"You have a visitor Ally," she peaked in a little more. "A very YUMMY visitor, might I add!" Elaine licked her lips.   
Ally looked up, "Elaine what are you talking a-," Elaine opened the door and backed up. Larry Paul was standing there in a purple suit and orange tie looking, 'yummy' as Elaine had described it. Ally immediately felt weak. "Larry, hi," Ally smiled.  
"Ally, hey, how are you doing? Are you hanging in there?" Larry asked lovingly showing deep concern.   
"Well, I've seen better days," she paused. "But I've seen worse as well," she thought of the day with the pan, the first time everything started happening and she shook her head violently at the thought.   
Larry saw this and a touch of concern turned up on his face, "Ally, what's wrong? Are you okay?"   
Ally looked at him, "Um, just, thinking…" she trailed off.   
"Well, I wanted to see if you wanted to have lunch," he looked at her hopefully.  
"Oh," she looked at her watch. Man how time flies now, she thought. "Is it that late already? I'd love to," she mustered up a smile.   
"Great! I know the perfect place!" Larry smiled widely when she accepted.  
  
***  
  
Ally and Larry were walking down the streets of Boston, not talking too much, but totally into each other's presence. All of a sudden they passed the department store that Ally was supposed to meet Douglas that one day and Ally stopped and gasped. Larry took a couple more steps, noticed she wasn't with him, turned around and took a look at the horrified look on Ally's face.   
"Ally, what's wrong?" Larry asked.   
"Um, uh," Ally felt weak in her knees and she thought of the burns and saw the noodles splashing on the floor. She put a hand on her neck remembering the pain of Douglas forcing her to the ground and she started trembling violently. A tear rolled down her face and it didn't stop at one tear. Larry walked over to Ally and wrapped her in his arms tightly.   
"If I would have waited half an hour longer," she moaned in between her tears. "If I-." She stopped and broke down right there in the middle of the sidewalk and all the people bustling around them. Larry just held her tightly and Ally cried even harder.   
What did this woman do to deserve all of this pain and agony? he wondered.  
  
***  
  
Larry had brought Ally to his office and they were sitting on the couch next to his conference table. Larry had brought Ally a cup of coffee and sat down next to her.   
"Do you wanna tell me what happened?" he offered softly.   
"Um, I guess," she paused and took a deep breath. "I guess I'm gonna have to if you're going to represent me in court," she started. She excused herself for a moment and went to the bathroom. When she came back, she had removed her pantyhose and sat back down on the couch. She took a deep breath and proceeded. "These," referring to the scars on her legs, "are from the first time Douglas started being rough with me." Larry gasped and a hand went immediately to his mouth. "We were supposed to meet at the department store we were standing outside of today when," she trailed off and motioned with her hand that he knew. Larry nodded and Ally continued. "I waited half an hour for him to meet me and then I went home figuring he was either there, or got hung up or something. So I started to cook dinner, spaghetti, and then Douglas came home. I went out to the living room to meet him and he was angry, very angry. He claimed to have been waiting for me for an hour and I 'never showed up.' He backed me into the kitchen and I eventually made it to the stove and I knocked over the pan full of boiling hot water and noodles. This apparently," she paused letting out a silent cry and then clearing her throat. Larry put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "This apparently made him even more mad and he," she grabbed her neck, the visions overpowering her. "He grabbed my neck and shoved me down to the floor on my knees in the hot water and amidst the noodles and growled at me to clean the mess up. He called me a slob, shoved me on the floor and left the room. That's where these came from," she was now holding onto both of her knees rocking back and forth, trembling even more. "Then," she paused.   
"There's more?" Larry asked incredulously.   
"I was in the bathroom nursing my legs with every kind of ointment I could think of and Douglas yelled at me to come into the bedroom and I scrambled in there. He was under the covers, naked, and," she started stuttering the words. "He told me to strip and get under the covers and he, he," she couldn't finish she was crying so hard by then, her whole body convulsing.   
Larry scooped Ally up into his arms and held her tight. He raped her, Larry finished silently.   
"And it happened, every night. Something different," Ally continued looking up at Larry. "I began to think it was all my fault. I just accepted it as normal and," she grabbed her thighs. "He was so rough, it hurt so bad," and I was 4 months pregnant Larry. I was gonna have a baby!" She started shaking even more at the thought of her lost child.   
"Didn't Renee notice anything? he questioned her.   
"Douglas told me," she hiccupped. "If I told anyone, he would kill me and our baby."  
Larry noticed she didn't have a baby and the sound of the word baby made her cry harder. "How did you lose the baby?" he asked softly.  
"He did it, he made me lose the baby," she kept saying. "Renee had showed up one night and I came home to Douglas, corning her in the wall, his hand around her neck and he looked at me with rage in his eyes. He told me that he had said not to say anything. He let go of Renee's neck and Renee fell to the floor. He started back me up the stairs and he had cornered me into the wall right above the stairs. He was close enough I could feel his breath and," she stopped wincing and grabbing her face as she felt the pain all over again. "He, he," she tried to say.  
"It's okay Ally, take your time," Larry eased her.   
"He smacked me hard as he could on my face, which started to bleed, and then, as I fell to the floor, he started kicking me in the stomach and, and," she pushed forward. "He kicked me down the stairs and I blacked out. I got a restraining order against him and then everything you know now," she collapsed against Larry's chest hyperventilating by then.   
"Well you don't have to worry about that man anymore Ally, I promise you. No matter what, I won't let ANYTHING happen to you. I promise." Larry knew from that moment on that he would not let that woman out of his sight if he could help it.   
  
***  
  
"Hello?" Douglas answered the phone.   
"Hi, is this Douglas Kaysen?" a raspy feminine voice asked.  
"Depends on who's calling," he replied questionably.   
"Let's just say that I'm someone who can help you," she stopped.  
After a pause Douglas replied, "I'm listening."  
"So you're being sued by Ally McBeal, am I correct?"   
"Yes, I am, but of what interest is that to you?" Douglas questioned again.  
"Well, let's just say I have a way that you can get to her," she broke off. "If you're interested…"   
  
***  
  
Renee watched as Ally started to brush her hair. She was getting ready to go out with Larry Paul that night. He was going to 'show her how a woman is supposed to be treated' she remembered telling Renee with slight excitement in her voice.   
"Well Ally, you're finally going on a date with another guy, hopefully a better one," Renee commented.   
"Oh Renee, it's just Larry," Ally tried to shrug it off, but she knew damn well that it was a very special date. She had grown very fond of Mr. Paul. He had been there for her and held her when she needed to cry and comforted her when things went wrong. "But you're not mad that he's my lawyer now?" she looked at Renee apologetically.  
"Oh no honey! I'm actually glad, gets you two to get to know one another and get," she paused to put emphasis on the next word, "closer!"   
Renee laughed and Ally swatted at her playfully. "Now Renee, leave it alone, it's not that big of a deal, sure he's a great guy," just then the doorbell rang. Ally perked up which caused Renee to laugh even more.   
"Go get him girl," Renee kept laughing as Ally stared at her.   
Ally walked to the door and opened it. There stood Larry with a single white rose and a big smile on his face at the sight of her. "Hey you!" he exclaimed. "Gosh you look beautiful," he sighed.   
Ally smiled, "Thanks, come in, please," she took a step back and let him walk through the door.   
Renee popped out of Ally's bedroom, "Hi Larry, how are ya?"   
"Oh I'm good, how 'bout yourself?" Larry smiled.  
"Never been better," Renee giggled.   
"Let me just get my purse, I'll be right back Larry," Ally walked back into her bedroom and shut the door.  
Larry seized the opportunity, "Renee?" he asked. "How is Ally coping? Is she alright?" He looked at Renee, his eyes filled with concern.  
"Well Larry," Renee began, her enthusiasm dropped slightly. "She's really glad that she has someone to hold her. She feels very close to you Larry, I don't know what it is, but I swear, if you,"   
Larry cut Renee off, "Renee, don't, PLEASE don't read me the wrong way!" He lowered his voice and leaned in closer to Renee, "To be honest with you Renee, I'm having strong feelings for Ally, but I," he paused, took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes. He replaced them and continued, "I don't think she's ready for anything serious," he sighed and looked at Renee pitifully.   
That was EXACTLY what Renee had hoped for. She wanted Larry to like Ally the way she KNEW Ally was likin' Larry, even if she wouldn't admit it. "Well Larry, in admitting that to me, you got my vote of confidence!" Renee's enthusiasm was renewed. "She really likes you too Larry, I can tell, but you can't beat around the bush with her, just be straightforward with her and," she paused. "Take it easy on her, she really does deserve to be happy, more, more than anyone else I've ever known."   
"Well I can promise you Renee, I will NOT treat her even remotely the same as Douglas did. I know she deserves better and every bone in my body tells me that I'm gonna be that person to give her what she deserves," he finished confidently.   
Ally's door opened and she walked out with her purse and a shawl wrapped around her arms. "Okay Larry," she started with a smile. "I'm ready, let's go. Goodbye Renee," she smiled at her friend. Renee was her best friend, and she knew it.   
"This is for the pretty lady," Larry smiled as he handed Ally the rose and took her opposite hand. All Ally could do was smile.   
"Bye you two! Have fun!" Renee called after them happily as she shut the door.  
Little did she know, that fun, would take on a whole different meaning.   
  
***  
  
Ally and Larry had had a wonderful dinner. They talked about anything and everything. Larry did his best to sway from topics that would bring up horrible memories from Ally's past and he was successful. Ally was just full of laughter that night. She couldn't believe that her and Larry were getting along so well. She so desperately wanted someone to be able to be there for her again, but she didn't know how to do anything anymore. It was all a big blur.   
They got up ready to leave and Larry excused himself to the restroom and Ally said she would wait outside the restaurant for him. She stepped out into the fresh crisp evening air and took a deep breath. She was happy; for once in her life, she was content.   
All of a sudden, before Ally knew what was going on, she was drug by the hair to the back of the restaurant and knocked out.   
  
***  
  
Larry stepped outside into the night and looked around. Where's Ally? Oh my god!!!! Where's Ally??? he thought frantically searching the perimeter with fear in his eyes. He ran back inside and poked the hostess, "Excuse me, did you see a woman exit this building about a minute ago?" he asked, frenzied. The hostess shook her head and Larry ran back outside, combing the streets with his eyes.   
"ALLY!!!!!!" he screamed with all of his might. "ALLY!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU???" all of a sudden people started coming out asking him if he was all right. All he could do was shake his head and mumble that his girlfriend had been kidnapped or something.   
Someone offered a cell phone and he quickly dialed Detective Anderson's number.   
"Detective Anderson here," a voice picked up.   
"Detective Anderson! Larry was scared by now, "Ally, I, she," he couldn't finish.   
Detective Anderson interrupted him immediately recognizing the voice, "What's wrong Mr. Paul? Is Ally all right? Where is she?" he started getting worried himself now.  
"She's disappeared Detective, I don't know where she went!" he started crying now. It was all his fault, he started blaming himself, I let her out of my sight, this is all my fault. Larry dropped the phone and fell to the floor on his knees screaming to the high heavens. Somebody picked up the phone and told the detective where they were and hung up.  
"That man will be here shortly," a woman squeezed his shoulder in comfort and went back inside to leave Larry outside, in the middle of the street, crying.   
  
***  
  
Ally woke up, in a dark room, tied to a chair. She lifted her head up, looked around and noticed it was her old house. She also saw someone sitting in front of her, in a shadow. All she could see was the person's eyes. She knew those eyes all too well. It was Douglas.   
"Well if it isn't my deranged ex-wife," Douglas commented, his tone rather soft. "I see you've moved on nicely, you whore," his tone strengthened. "Do you like to steal other people's men or is this your first time?" Douglas continued.  
Ally looked at Douglas in confusion and a woman stepped out of the shadows. Ally looked at her trying to recognize her.  
"Remember me?" she asked coolly. "I believe you were with MY man tonight," she said angrily.   
Ally knew then, it was Jamie. "But, I thought that, you two-" Jamie cut her off.  
"We ARE together dammit! We have a son together and we live together! How can we NOT be together?" she screamed at Ally. Douglas looked at Jamie as she tried to regain composure. "You home wrecker," Jamie continued, looking at Ally, disgusted. "You just try and move in on my happy home and take away the only man I've ever loved. Can you even imagine what this must be like on his son?" Jamie questioned.  
His son, she thought, he has a son? Ally was confused. Larry had never mentioned it to her. Then again, she thought, we did spend a lot of our time talking about MY problems. She sighed and a tear rolled down her face. Ally was truly terrified. This is it, she thought, I'm going to die. "Um," Ally started. "I didn't know you two had a son together, I'm sorry. I really, despite what you may think, had no intention of," Ally gulped, "ruining your happy home." Ally looked up at Jamie desperately.   
Jamie walked furiously over to Ally and grabbed her hair, "To HELL you didn't!" she screamed at Ally. "You knew damn well what you were getting yourself into. Douglas here says that you've got quite a knack of destroying good things. Like you two for instance," she smiled. "You know," she bent down to whisper in Ally's ear. "He would love to kiss and make up with you," she grinned nodding towards Douglas.   
Douglas got up and made his way over to Ally. Jamie backed up away from Ally and Douglas knelt down beside her. "I've missed you baby. The nights have been cold and lonely without you," he paused and took a hand and put it down towards her vaginal area. "Without this," indicating where his hand was. Ally gasped as Douglas smiled. Killer smile, she thought. She remembered the first time he had flashed that to her in law school almost a year ago, the smile that won her over now only made her flinch. Douglas licked the side of her face and Ally let out a cry.   
"Oh shut up girley!" Jamie snarled from the side. "You know you love it!"   
"Ever make love all tied up Ally baby?" Douglas asked her, cooing. "It's a lot of fun, wanna see what it's like?" Douglas got on top of her and straddled her. He started kissing her neck. It was salty and sweet. He made his way down her neck to her chest. He took a knife out of his back pocket and ripped the front of her dress to expose her breasts. He smiled an evil smile and took them both in his hands. He squeezed them with all his might and Ally let out a sharp scream "Now now now," Douglas scolded. He motioned to Jamie who brought over a scarf. He took it and wrapped it around Ally's mouth. "We can't have you waking up the neighbors. Douglas resorted back to playing with Ally. He took a breast in his mouth and sucked on the bud, but roughly and Ally groaned in pain. "What's that baby? Oh you like it, it feels good, okay, well how about this?" his hand ventured down south again to her vaginal area and he rubbed up against it hard with his hand. She let out another painful groan. Her eyes were clamped shut full of water and she had no idea what was going to happen next.   
  
***  
  
"Do you have ANY idea where she might be Mr. Paul?" Detective Anderson questioned.   
"If I did, do you think I'd be here right now?" Larry asked in distress looking up at him heatedly.   
"Okay, so you think it was Mr. Kaysen who took her?" another detective asked. Larry was out of his right mind and so Detective Anderson had asked a few other colleges of his to help him out on this one.   
"Of course he took her you idiot! Who else would take someone so innocent?" Larry howled.  
"Okay, so where could Mr. Kaysen be staying at?" Detective Anderson looked at Larry.  
"Well they couldn't have gotten very far, not if it JUST happened when Mr. Paul came outside," another detective offered.  
"Yes, but by now, they could be anywhere," Detective Anderson pointed out. "I wonder," he looked at Larry. "Do you know if Ally got the house from Mr. Kaysen in the divorce? My memory's been robbed for the moment."   
"Ally got it, but she didn't want it, too many bad memories," he remembered what Ally had told him, the noodles on the floor and the staircase. He envisioned what had happened so clear that he felt as if he was a witness to the crime.   
"Let's try there," Detective Anderson looked at the others. "It's worth a shot, what've we got to lose?" And with that, they all were out of the door to the station and heading over to the former Kaysen residence.   
  
***  
  
"Are you having FUN Ally?" Jamie taunted her. Ally's dress was completely open and she was crying so hard. "What's it feel like? Now THIS is the person you should be with, not my Larry, got it?" Ally nodded slowly. "You can stop now Douglas."  
Douglas flashed Jamie a 'what the hell are you talking about' look. "Oh Jamie, I've only JUST begun with her. She left me, she lost our baby," Ally squealed at that. She knew damn well it wasn't her fault she lost the baby. Douglas was the one who kicked her down the stairs. "Now, it's time to pick up where we left off," Douglas said glaring at her as he removed his t-shirt.  
"Douglas, I thought we were just gonna scare her," Jamie said nervously.   
"Jamie, you can't properly scare someone unless you follow through. They will always believe that you will never follow through," he looked back at Ally. "She needs to know I'm serious," he licked his lips.   
Ally started moving around and panicking. She didn't know what else to do. Next thing she remembers is getting smacked again across the face.  
  
***  
  
Larry was getting frantic in the car. "Can't you drive any faster?" he complained.   
"We're almost there Mr. Paul," Detective Anderson said calmly.   
"How can you be so relaxed when god only knows what's happening to Ally right now?" he accused.   
They pulled into a driveway and Larry jumped out. "Mr. Paul!" Detective Anderson called out. "We have to do it procedurally!" he kept calling, but it was too late. Larry was already pulling and yanking on the door. Detective Anderson and his men gathered around the door "Please move Mr. Paul," Anderson moved Larry back with his gun barrel. All of the officers gathered around the door in a circle and Anderson kicked the door open with his foot. One by one, the men ran inside. Larry darted upstairs and checked all the rooms. He finally came to an empty room where he found Douglas with his shirt off and pants undone, hanging over a passed out Ally, dress ripped open exposing her chest, and Jamie.   
"Jamie! What the HELL are YOU doing here??" he howled at her. He looked at Ally's frail limp body exposed underneath Douglas. Larry hurled at him in anger. Douglas fell to the floor and Larry started kicking the hell out of him in the stomach. "How does it feel you bastard!!!" Larry yelled.   
"Mr. Paul!" Detective Anderson, with his men following, burst through the door. Anderson pulled Larry away from Douglas, who was lying sprawled out on the floor. The other detectives picked Douglas up and put him against the wall. They started reading him his rights and then one of them went over to Jamie.   
"Miss, are you-" Larry cut him off.  
"She's in on it! She was here the whole time!" Larry was screaming.   
"Please, calm down Mr. Paul." Larry broke away and ran to Ally and untied her. He started stroking her hair.  
"I'm sooooo sorry honey! I'm SOOO sorry I left you alone!!! I didn't mean to, it'll never happen again!!!" Larry started crying while cradling her in his arms and crying.   
"Let's get her to a hospital," Detective Anderson said softly, looking at the hunched over Larry. Larry wrapped Ally up in his jacket, which he had removed, picked her up by her legs and neck, and carried her to the car.   
"Jamie and Douglas were led away in handcuffs, heads bent down. Her and Douglas were placed in a separate car away from Ally and Larry. Jamie was cursing. "I told you to stop Douglas, you stupid fuck!"   
"Shut up you!" the officer shoved her in the car.   
  
***  
  
Renee ran into the hospital in a frenzy. "Ally McBeal's room please," she asked the receptionist, and then she saw Larry. "Larry! How's Ally, where is she? Is she all right?" Renee was crying.   
"She's gonna be okay, I think, but she's suffered trauma to the head, again," Larry sighed. His eyes were all cried out. He felt so guilty at that moment.   
"Larry," Renee began. "It's not your-," Larry cut her off.  
"No Renee, it IS my fault. I let her go outside. I let her be kidnapped. It's all my fault!" Larry exclaimed. He didn't think he could cry anymore, but he did, oh did he cry.   
Renee comforted him by rubbing his back gently as he held his head in his hands and sobbed. "Can I see her?" Renee asked softly when Larry's crying let up a bit.   
"Of course you can," Larry got up and led her to Ally's room. Renee gasped when she saw her best friend. Ally had a bandage wrapped up on her upper left cheek because of the gash that Douglas had caused when he hit her again. She was hooked up to an IV and was pale as a ghost.   
"Oh!" Renee let out and turned to put her head on Larry's shoulder she started crying herself. Renee had hoped that she would never see Ally hooked up to that damn machine again. It hurt her like hell before, but it was nothing compared to what she was feeling at that very moment.   
Renee had looked up and excused herself. Larry however, stayed in that same spot looking at Ally. He blamed himself one hundred percent for what she had gone through. It didn't even dawn on him that something could happen to Ally who was outside by herself. Even for that single minute she was by herself. He knew he should have thought that maybe Douglas was watching Ally. Seeing her every move and waiting for the right opportunity to seize her, and, and, he couldn't even finish the thought.   
"Ally," he whispered her name and moved to the chair beside her that he had put there before and sat. "Ally, I am SO sorry for all of this. This was all my fault and I don't know how you can ever forgive me, but if you would, I will do whatever it takes to get your love," he stopped, amazed at what he had said. Have I really fallen for this woman? he thought. Do I love her? Larry took a deep breath and clasped her hand in his. "I will spend the rest of my life making this up to you," he said behind his tears that had started to flow yet again.   
  
***  
  
"We will ask you once again, why were you at that house with Mr. Kaysen?" Detective Anderson grilled yet again to an unresponsive Jamie.  
Jamie sat still staring Anderson in his eye, not saying anything.   
"Well if this is how you're going to be," Detective Anderson got up and left the room to go behind the mirror and stare at Jamie to see if her movement would change.  
"What do you think chief?" Anderson asked his boss, Chief Nielson.   
"Well Anderson, there has to be one person who knows what would make this woman crack," Nielson paused. "Any ideas?" he asked Anderson.  
"Well," Anderson thought pensively. "There's that man, Mr. Larry Paul who went to the hospital with Ms. McBeal. When he came in here with her the first time she was attacked, this woman," indicating Jamie, "came in a short while afterwards and she seemed sweet on him, however, he wasn't sweet on her." Anderson stopped looking at Chief Nielson's face as an idea came to him, he could tell, his whole face lit up.   
"That's it, that's our link, get a hold of this Larry Paul and call him in for questioning under the interrogation of this woman.   
"Right away sir," Anderson left the room to go to his office and make the phone call.  
  
***  
  
BRRIIIIIIIINNNNNNGGGG  
Larry jumped. His cell phone was ringing.  
"Larry Paul," he answered.  
"Mr. Paul? Detective Anderson here. How's Ally holding up?"  
"She's hooked up to a thousand machines Detective, how do you THINK she is?" Larry got an attitude.   
"Listen, I'm sorry for her and for you, but I need you to come down to the station for questioning of the woman brought in with Douglas," Anderson tried to be bias to Larry's outburst.  
"Jamie? Simple, she wants to hurt me," Larry spit out.  
"Hurt you? But, why? I mean," Anderson paused. "What would she have to gain?" Anderson was confused.   
"Well," Larry started. "I have been talking about moving out and taking our son with me. I believe that Jamie has, er, problems, if you will, and I don't want my son exposed to that. She's obsessed with the idea that we will get married and live in a nice house with the white picket fence and that I love her. I don't love her detective, and she will do anything she can to keep me within her grasp, I'm almost positive and this incident further proves my previous notion," Larry finished in one breath. He had stepped out into the hall to have the conversation but still looking at Ally through the glass window in the door.   
Anderson was puzzled. If Larry knew so much about Jamie, then how come he didn't report it sooner? He pushed forward with caution. "Can you inform me of any odd occurrences that could prove your thoughts?"   
Larry thought for a moment. "Well, there WAS this one number on the phone bill that she wouldn't explain and then she's been REAL into where I've been going… if you call that odd."  
Anderson thought for a moment. It definitely fit together. Jamie could have been in contact with Mr. Kaysen and made him aware of Larry's whereabouts, since he had been spending every spare second with Ally and it set it up for him to follow them and capture Ally when Larry turned his back. That's exactly what happened. "That's actually exactly it, it sounds like everything checks out together. Please come down as soon as possible."  
Larry saw Renee come around the corner with a cup of coffee in one hand and a bunch of tissues in her other hand and thought I'll leave Renee with Ally, she'll be all right till I get back. "All right Detective, I'll be right down." Larry hung up.  
"Renee," Larry greeted her. "I have to go down to the station and make a statement on Jamie and why she was there and stuff like that. Will you stay with Ally till I get back please?" Larry asked.   
"Of course Larry," Larry started to walk away and Renee grabbed his arm, stopping him. "Put her away for life, and him too," she looked at him, her eyes pleading to him.  
"I plan to," Larry responded confidently as he made his way down the hall. "So help me god…"  
  
***  
  
Anderson walked back into the room opposite the interrogation room. "Well chief, he's coming," he reported. He looked at Jamie. "Any change?"  
"Good," Nielson replied relieved and shook his head in response to Anderson's second question. "Could you get anything out of him?"  
"Actually, quite a bit," Anderson began. "It seems, the two of them," indicating Jamie and Larry, "have a history. They have a son but aren't 'together', and she has some sort of an obsession with him. He wants to move out and take the son."  
"Anything out of the ordinary Anderson? That's what we need, odd occurrences. Are there any?"   
"A couple actually," Anderson stated. "Mr. Paul claimed to see an unfamiliar number on the phone bill and Jamie, WOULDN"T, explain it, and then she's been asking him where he's going every time he's out the door. Mr. Paul said that wasn't like her."  
"Well, let's hope we have enough to put her away for a while," Nielson responded.  
"Well sir, he thinks she might have," Anderson paused as if not to insult, "problems," he finished pointing to his head as if an indicator that she was, crazy.   
"What about Mr. Kaysen? Where is he right now?" Nielson questioned Anderson.  
"He's in protective custody right now, the jail cell downstairs."  
"Well let's not let him out of our sight. I don't want him let out on bail again. He's too much of a danger to Ms. McBeal. She needs to worry about recuperating and going to trial. Suing this monster is going to be one helluva drag on her," Nielson sighed. He hated seeing people go through this kind of trauma.   
The phone in that room rang. Nielson picked it up.  
"Nielson here," a pause. "Uh huh," another pause. "Send him in," Nielson hung up the phone. He looked at Anderson. "This Mr. Paul of yours is here and apparently not looking so hot."  
"It figures. I really do think that he loves her," Anderson replied.   
There was a knock on the door. Anderson opened it. "Mr. Paul, glad you could come."  
"Well let's get this over with, I wanna get back to Ally," Anderson and Nielson looked at each other.   
"Okay Mr. Paul, I'm Chief Nielson and there," he pointed to the window, "is our suspect. Can you help us out? Talk to her maybe; see if you could get anything out of her? We'd really appreciate it."  
"If it keeps Ally from being put back in that damn hospital, that I'll do whatever it takes," Larry answered seriously.  
"Well then you'll help us, because if we can get a confession out of her, she'll be put to trial and convicted," Anderson chimed in. Anderson led Larry out of the room to next door. He unlocked the door and opened it a crack so that he could let Larry enter by himself, but he had to add something real quick. "This is only you Mr. Paul. We think that you'll be more effective by yourself in there. From what you've said, you'll have more luck by yourself, I'm almost positive." Larry nodded and proceeded to enter as Anderson stepped back and left to the other room.  
Jamie looked up and saw Larry. Her face immediately softened. "You've changed your mind Larry!" she squealed in delight as she jumped up to give Larry a hug. He pushed her back into the chair.   
"Jamie! What the HELL is your problem? How could you even begin to involve yourself in something this, this," he was twirling air with his hands. "This crazy scheme to hurt an innocent woman?"  
"She was trying to take you away from me and Sam. How could I sit back and let it happen? I couldn't. I love you Larry, and you know you love me too."  
"I do NOT love you Jamie! Why can't you fucking see that?" Larry bellowed at her. "You have no right at all to harm that innocent woman!"  
Jamie bowed her head down," It was out of love Larry. I did it to keep us together. You, me, Sam," she looked up.   
"You leave Sam outta this!" he howled.   
Anderson looked at Nielson on the other side. "What do you think chief?"  
"I think he's had enough," Nielson paused. "And I think we have enough, go get him outta there. That woman is crazy, a bonafide nutcase."   
Anderson walked to the door and entered. "Mr. Paul, thank you for coming down. We appreciate your cooperation," he glared at Jamie on that last word who stuck another strong stare on her face. "We'll call you if we need anything else."  
This is pathetic, Larry thought. How could she do this to someone so innocent? He headed back to the hospital.   
  
***  
  
"Oh Ally," Renee sighed. "You poor thing. How could you be put through so much trauma? It's not like you did anything to deserve it," Renee sniffled. She curled back up onto the bed the way she did the first time Ally was in the hospital. She took Ally's hand in hers and traced the bone. "We're gonna get you outta here me and Larry, and you're never gonna be bothered again. He loves you, you know. I can tell it. Every time he looks at you, there's that adoration in his eyes. He blames himself you know. You have to convince him that it's not his fault Douglas is crazy and his, well, whatever the hell she is, is just as crazy. If you ask me, they're perfect for each other, "Renee let out a little chuckle. "Oh Ally," she buried her head next to Ally's.   
All of a sudden the door opened and Larry appeared again. "Larry, hi, that was quick," Renee spoke softly.   
"Yeah, they just wanted me to talk to Jamie and see if they could get something on tape. How is she?" He looked at Ally sadly and crept towards her.   
Renee got off the bed slowly and walked towards Larry. "I'll leave you two alone," she squeezed his arm reassuringly. "I think she's been waiting for you," Renee left the room.   
Larry was shocked by what Renee had just said. Has she really been waiting for me? he thought. He shook his head and moved towards Ally's bedside, taking her hand in his and sitting down, slowly and quietly.   
"Ally," he began slowly. "If only," he started to get choked up. "If only there was a way that I could erase what you've been put through. Even if," another pause to swallow tears. "Even if it meant never ever meeting you. If I could erase what's happened to you, I would. God I wish I could!" he spoke passionately as he looked at her pale, lifeless face. He stood up and moved to sit on the side of the bed next to Ally, now holding her hand with both of his as if, if he let go, she would slip away. "Ally, oh my sweet Ally," he said even more passionately as he touched her face with one of his hands.  
Little did he know that Ally's other hand was stirring. Her eyes started to twitch but Larry had Ally's hand clutched in his and he had his head against it, praying, so he didn't notice.   
Ally's eyes had opened slightly and she saw a figure in front of her, holding her hand, and crying softly. Who is this? she thought. Ally blinked her eyes several more times to get a clearer view. "Larry?" Ally struggled to speak. "You're here," she spoke again, much happier."  
Larry looked up instantaneously. "Ally?" he responded with such fervor. "Oh Ally," he whimpered. "I am SOOO sorry for all of this!" he could barely speak he was so choked up.   
"Larry," Ally attempted to sit up. "You couldn't have known," Ally struggled with the words, her mouth was so dry. "I'm just," Ally sighed. "I'm just so glad that you're here, with me, holding my hand. I feel so safe around you. I couldn't even begin to describe the feeling." Ally looked at Larry her eyes slightly open with a contented look on her face.   
"Why wouldn't I be here? I let this happen to you," Larry spoke so sorrowfully.   
"Now you listen to me Mr. Larry," Ally started, trying to sit up more, but comforted by Larry pushing her down as if to say don't move, you're fine where you are. "This wasn't your fault. If I blamed you, I wouldn't be as happy to see you as I am right now," Ally looked him meaningfully in the eyes.   
"Oh Ally," Larry bent his head down. "I, I," he raised his head up looking her directly in the eyes. "I love you Ally McBeal."  
Ally gasped and then smiled warmly. "You too?" she asked playfully. Then she thought of the last person she had loved, that had said I love you. "Oh, but I," she brought a hand to her mouth to sustain a cry. "I can't love someone and be loved. Look where it got me," and tears rolled slowly down Ally's face.   
Larry hugged Ally, "No, it doesn't have to be like that," he corrected himself, "It WON"T be like that. There's NO WAY I could EVER put you through what he put you through. We can take it slowly if you want, as slowly as possible. I don't wanna lose you Ally," a tear rolled down his face, she wiped it away.   
"Larry, if only it were that simple-," Larry shushed her with a finger he quickly put to her mouth.   
"Ally, it IS that simple. Can you trust me? Can you honestly trust me?" Larry gazed into her eyes, his whole heart out on his sleeve for the taking, hoping against hope.   
Ally blinked her wet eyes and nodded, "Yes Larry, I do trust you. I do trust you," Ally smiled weakly.   
"Ally," Larry said softly in delight. Slowly, he leaned in towards her. Ally knew what was coming, but was she ready. I love this man, she thought as his lips met hers. What a kiss, she thought. Larry leaned back, "Was that okay?" he asked timidly.   
All Ally could do was smile as she leaned back on the bed. "Larry, it was the best kiss I've ever gotten."  
Larry was still worried. "Is this moving too fast for you? I mean I'll back off if it's too fast," he continued quickly.   
"Larry, it's okay," Ally reassured him. They gazed into each other's eyes. This feels so right, they both thought simultaneously.   
  
***  
  
Ally got out of the hospital the next day with, apparently, no severe head trauma. Larry had taken Ally home with him. Renee was more than happy that Ally had a man to cozy up to, and a good one at that. She really liked Larry and sensed that he was SO different from Douglas it wasn't even funny.   
Ally and Larry have a good couple of weeks, spending all their free time together. Due to Jamie being imprisoned temporarily, Larry had Sam. Ally had grown very fond of Sam. Seeing the two year old with his dad made her long for her own unborn child. Larry made sure that Ally had someone looking after her at all times. He walked her home every night, and to work every morning. He was determined to make sure she was as safe as she could possibly be.  
Ally's trial on her lawsuit against Douglas approached and she was nervous about it. She knew she would have to explain everything that had happened and she didn't know how she'd get through it. She knew Larry couldn't hold her hand as she told her story and that scared her. She had found such a wonderful security in him; she felt she could tell him anything.   
The morning of the trial, Ally was sitting in the kitchen to hers and Renee's apartment sipping coffee, tapping her foot nervously. She was waiting for Larry to come pick her up like he usually did. She had about five minutes.   
Renee came out of her room and approached Ally. "Hey honey," Renee greeted Ally. She knew that today was the day. She eyed Ally suspiciously. Ally seemed to be all right, but Renee could see right through that mask Ally had learned to put up. "Are you ready for today?"  
Ally looked up at Renee, "Hey. Yeah, I'm ready for it. Let's just hope he gets put away forever," Ally sighed.   
Renee thought for a moment. "I'll be at the courthouse later on, okay?" she wasn't on call to the stand until the next day. She, being an eyewitness when Ally got knocked down the stairs, had to testify and she was more than willing to.   
The doorbell rang. "He's early," Ally exclaimed.   
"Good luck honey, I'll be there, kay?"   
"Sure," Ally hugged Renee back and went to open the door with her briefcase, ready to go.  
"Hey Mr. man," she said as she looked at Larry and smiled.   
"Are you ready for today honey?" Larry asked with concern dripping from his voice.   
Ally took a deep breath and sighed. "Ready as I'll ever be," she stated, taking his hand and closing the door behind her.  
  
***  
  
Ally surprisingly got through most of the preliminary questioning about her first experiences with Douglas, however when it got to describing her latest escapade with him, she was at a loss for words. She couldn't even remember telling Larry what had happened, even though in the back of her mind she subconsciously knew she had.   
Larry approached her slowly. "Miss McBeal," he began, very professionally. "Can you please describe to the jury the events of your recent kidnapping?" He looked at her, close to as nervous as she was. When he noticed she hadn't said anything yet he tried to comfort her. "Take all the time you need."  
"Well, I was out on a date with Mr. Paul here," indicating Larry as he bowed his head, "and he had gone to the bathroom. I said I would be outside, I wanted some fresh air before we caught a cab to go home." Ally paused and took a deep deep breath. "Well I stepped outside and before I knew it, I was being dragged really hard by my hair around the corner to the restaurant and then I remember getting hit, very hard, over the head. I had blacked out and before I knew it, I was tied to a chair and, in," Ally started flinching. "My old house in which I lived with" Ally hesitated, " Mr. Kaysen."   
"And what do you remember after waking up?" Larry asked her gently, letting her know someone was on her side.   
"Well, I remember seeing her," Ally pointed to Jamie, "and she started yelling at me about taking you away from her and she told me you had a son and that I was a home wrecker. I had said I didn't know that you two had had a son together and that I didn't think you were together," Ally paused, taking a deep breath dreading what she would have to say next.   
"And you interaction with Mr. Kaysen, Miss McBeal. What was that like?" Larry had to be professional even though he didn't want to. He wished he could tell the story for her, because seeing the pain in her eyes of drudging up the memory ripped his heart out from his chest and fed it to a den of hungry lions.   
"Well, he spoke roughly to me about how I shouldn't be a home wrecker and he, he licked my face saying he'd missed me and that the nights were, lonely and cold while, while, touching me." Ally shifted uncomfortably.   
"Are you okay Miss McBeal?" Larry tried to comfort her. Ally nodded, "Please go on then."   
"He, he asked me, if I had ever made love tied up and got on top of me. He started kissing my neck and then took a knife out and cut open my dress." Larry remembered seeing her with her dress completely open, her breasts hanging out. "He, he, grabbed me," Ally hesitated and swallowed tears, "and I cried out. He then put a gag on my mouth and continued to, to," Ally wiped her eyes she was crying in full now. "He continued to touch me everywhere, very roughly. He squeezed my breasts hard to where there were bruises," she remembered the tenderness that lasted more than a week, "and then Jamie had told him it was enough but, but he wasn't done with me yet. Next thing I know, I was smacked again and then I woke up in a hospital, sore all over with a bandage on my face," Ally's hand immediately went up to her face. She could feel the busted out scar that the smack had left.   
"Well Miss McBeal, thank you for that, I can only imagine how hard it was for you to repeat that to all of us. One last question, pardon the pain it might cause, but, are you able to have children Ms. McBeal?" Larry asked.  
"No, I," Ally started shaking violently.   
"Are you okay Ms. McBeal?" the judge asked, genuinely worried for the young woman.   
"I'm alright," Ally looked up. "I can't have children because of when Douglas pushed me down the stairs and I lost my child." Ally made eye contact with Renee, who had seen the whole thing and was crying herself at the thought of watching Ally fall down the stairs.  
"Thank you Ms. McBeal. No further questions your honor," Larry sat down.  
"You may step down Ms. McBeal," the judge said. "This court is in recess till tomorrow morning at 10 a.m. sharp." He hit the hammer on the mallet and everyone in the courtroom rose.   
Ally was still sitting on the witness stand crying. Larry got up and went over to her and knelt down. "Ally, sweetie, come on, let's get you home."  
Ally looked up at Larry. "Can I stay with you tonight? I don't wanna sleep alone," she managed to say in between sobs.   
"Of course you can honey," Larry held onto her tight as they left the courthouse.   
  
***  
  
Larry had tucked Sam in and went into the bedroom where Ally was curled up in a ball towards the middle of the bed. Larry crawled into bed with her and started rubbing her back.   
"Are you okay honey?" Larry asked looking at her forlornly.   
"Am I demented?" Ally asked suddenly.  
"Where did that come from Ally?" Larry asked, concerned.  
"Well, I can't have children," she began to whimper softly. "I always wanted a child you know," Larry immediately thought of Sam.   
"Well, you could think of Sam as your son if you want. As far as I'm concerned, Jamie is unfit to be a mother after what she coincided upon doing."  
"I feel like I could never be everything to you Larry. I don't even know if I could ever bear to make love to you. I just, I have so many bad memories and as good as lovemaking sounds, it sounds one hundred times more painful when I think of what's happened to me already." Ally moaned softly in discontent.  
"Ally, I am happy with you just the way you are. I love you just the way you are. I'm sure this will all pass, these feelings. Just give them time," he paused. "I'd wait for you forever Ally."  
Ally gasped and looked up at him. "Would you really Larry? But it might be a long wait," she tried to warn him.  
"Ally, I don't care. So long as I have you in my life, it doesn't matter to me."  
Ally curled up against Larry crying herself to sleep softly. Larry just held her till she fell asleep and he too followed the pattern.  
  
***  
  
About two days later, the jury came back with a verdict finding Douglas guilty of abuse in the first degree. He was sentenced to a life sentence due to mental and physical damages to Ally, no chance of parole. Ally had never been more relieved at a hearing in her life. Larry had turned to her and hugged her tight.   
As far as Jamie was concerned, she was transferred to a mental institution for a psychiatric evaluation pending a possible jail sentence herself for being an accomplice to the kidnapping of Ally McBeal.   
  
***  
  
As far as Larry was concerned, he was going to sue for sole custody, due to Jamie's psychotic behavior, which he knew he would be granted. He would have a family with Ally; he wanted that more than anything in the world. The question was, did Ally want that? Could she handle that right now? he pondered.   
Him and Ally were curled up on his bed; she was in a ball cuddled up next to him like a kitten. He gazed at her as she stared absentmindedly at the television set; her thoughts seemed to be elsewhere. "Care to share?" he asked gently.   
"Well," Ally sighed. Slowly and carefully, she looked up at him. "When you said you'd wait for me," she began watching his facial expressions fearing they wouldn't turn sour on her. "You weren't kidding, or or lying, were you?"   
Larry squeezed her shoulders in reassurance. "No honey, not in the least. That is not what's important to me. What's important to me is that you feel safe and comfortable and loved," he paused, "cause you are. Loved I mean," he clarified. God her eyes are beautiful, he thought, as he got lost in them.   
That was exactly what Ally wanted to hear. She leaned up to kiss him, gently at first, but then it changed. It became passionate, something she had never tried with Larry before. She was too terrified. "Larry, I'm ready." She laid flat on her back and looked at him.   
"Ally, are you sure?" Larry looked at her, worried. He didn't want to rush anything and he had no idea what was going through Ally's mind at that moment.   
"Just be careful," she whispered. "I haven't done this willingly in like almost a year."  
Larry leaned towards her and kissed her gently on the lips, making his way down towards her neck gently kissing her all over. Ally moaned in pleasure, but Larry could feel her whole body trembling. She's not ready, he thought. Larry stopped and looked at her.  
"What's wrong?" Ally looked at him, confused.  
"You're not ready are you?" Larry asked in dismay.   
"Larry, no matter when we do this, I'm never gonna be 'ready.' When you've gone through what I've gone through, you're never going to be ready for this again. But I want to, I want to give myself to you, completely. If I can't trust you," she paused slightly and lowered her voice to a whisper. "Then I can't trust anybody. I love you Larry Paul."  
Larry looked at her adoringly and kissed her gently and continued what he had started. He removed his shirt and Ally rose up to kiss his chest slowly and sweet. Larry pulled her oversized nightshirt over her head and looked at her. She's sooo beautiful, he thought as he leaned in to kiss her again. Larry caressed her gently. Ally moaning in fright every now and then, but Larry relaxing her by stopping momentarily waiting for Ally to regain composure. Larry took it nice and slow as he began to make love to her. She was shaking like a leaf, but never insisted on stopping.   
When they were done, Ally cried softly. This worried Larry. "Did I do something wrong honey?"   
Ally looked up. "No, everything was, perfect. I'm just relieved to have found someone to love, finally." Ally sat up a little and kissed him.  
Larry and Ally fell asleep to the hum of each other's heartbeats, content with life at that very moment.   
  
  
THE END 


End file.
